Episode 2 - "Love and Memories" by O.A.R.

The first time I heard this song, I didn't know the title or artist; I just knew it was a horrible choice for its context. You see, it was the music that was set to a propaganda slideshow of random extracurricular activities shown to incoming freshman on the first day of high school, trying to tell us to get involved. Perhaps this is the reason I never did, because the song choice was so terrible. The song itself wasn't necessarily offensive, but... it reminds me of when I heard the organ player at U.S. Cellular Field playing that All-American Rejects song "Gives You Hell," because in both instances, it was just a matter of the song sounding nice and having nothing to do with the thing it was applied to. But this with "Love and Memories" was worse because the lyrics were still intact, and not only did they not fit, but they were straight-up counterproductive. How much so? Well, let's see if we can discern the intended meaning from the lyrics. When that inevitably fails (rereading the lyrics as I do this, I may be stumbling for words, but we'll all be lost together), we'll Google it and you'll see.

And heeeeeeere we go.

Lovely, you're always lovely
Aw, fuck, did I pick another obsession song?
A vision, you were the one
Oh, and I guess she's imaginary?
Now I am stuck inside a memory
You forgot about our destiny
Uh, buddy, clearly you two didn't have much of a destiny if you're not together anymore. And it's to my understanding that destiny (playing along and pretending it's not complete bullshit) is something revealed to you as it happens and not something you're taught before hand. It's hard to forget what hasn't happened yet, and may not happen ever. Just like how I can't forget where the Olympics were held in 2056 or who was elected president in 2084. Cos it hasn't fuckin' happened.
You buried me, didn't you?
Note to self: narrator is communicating from the grave.

Didn't you love me faster than the devil
I didn't know you could quantify love in terms of speed. Yeah, I know that joke sucked, but seriously, this line is so fucking weird and stupid that it's syphoning the creativity out of my skull. WHAT THE FUCK DOES THIS EVEN MEAN? Like the line about taking toilet water from the ladies' room in the last episode, this was the hot-button line that drove me to put it on here early in my little series here. "Love me faster"? Do you think love is proportional to how quick your quickies are? AND WHY THE FUCKING DEVIL? That has to be a shitty metaphor for another guy that wanted to fuck her, that is the only option that even remotely makes sense. And "faster" would be a stretched synonym for "more," and whoever wrote this needed an extra syllable to keep the melody. Let's move on before I lose my mind.
Run me straight into the ground
Um, actual question, is this a continuation of the "Didn't you ~?" question from the last line, or are you making a request? Considering this dude might just be a sort of emotional masochist who only likes quick, meaningless sex, I'll go with the latter.
Drownin' deep inside your water
Awesome, you just went from question to command to observation. I'm fucking lost as to what you're trying to tell this chick. Further evidence that this dude might me a masochist: this line may mean that the chick starts pissing while he's eating her pussy out, so that he actually is briefly drowning.
Drownin' deep inside your sound
I can't find a cleverly dirty way to misinterpret this, so I'll move on.

You're always floating
Now she's a fucking ghost!?
A vapor that I couldn't see
...yup, called it.
Here I am stuck inside a yesterdayThere's only one yesterday, bro. I know you don't want to use "memory" again, but it's really you're only option. It's in the title, dude, the world will forgive you. Jesus.
Everything has given way
...and it was all for a fucking rhyme...
You fell from me, didn't you?
Wul, if she did, she's not around to answer the damn question, now is she? This is like asking everyone who's absent to raise their hand.

Didn't you love me faster than the devil
Shut up.
Run me straight into the ground
Shut up.
Drownin' deep inside your water
Shut up.
Drownin' deep inside your sound
Shut up.

Love me faster than the devil
And so it dawns upon me that maybe the second "didn't you" was supposed to follow the second one, but the singer's placement makes it sound like it's connected to that [STUPID FUCKING] "love me faster" sentence/paragraph. Well, I don't forgive. I plan on analyzing another song down the line with similar vocal placement issues, and you'll see then how horrible (and avoidable) this can be.
Run me straight into the ground
Drownin' deep inside your water
Drown in love and memories
Is... is that a threat? You're telling her to go drown?
Also note the medium he wants her to drown in. Is this what it's like to be a masochist? You not only find painful things pleasureful, but pleasureful things painful? I dunno. I don't care.

Maybe I am a crowded mind
So, you're the ghost? I was right, he's communicating from the dead, hence him being a disembodied conscious. I'm totally kicking ass at figuring this out.
I watch your eyes glaze over
Stare down at the floor
Stalker!
You were amazing to me
I was amazing to you
Don't you hate it when people tell you what you think, as though they know your own thoughts better than you? Maybe if she was amazed with you, she wouldn't have bailed... on your... ghost...
But here we go again
Oh, Goddammit!
So yeah, it's just this bullshit below all over again.

Didn't you love me faster than the devil
Run me straight into the ground
Drownin' deep inside your water
Drownin' deep inside your sound

...and again.

Love me faster than the devil
Run me straight into the ground
Drownin' deep inside your water
Drownin' deep inside your sound

Once more for good measure!

Love me faster than the devil
Run me straight into the ground
Drownin' deep inside your water
Drown in love and memories

~O.A.R.
~"Love and Memories"
~Stories of a Stranger
~2005, Lava/Everfine
~http://www.songmeanings.net/songs/view/3530822107858559138/
~http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpea4Nlzs1U
So, against what one would think with lyrics such as these, this song isn't about a lovesick poltergeist who died in a tragic S&M accident, and who holds it against his former whipper girlfriend that she ever moved on... ever. It's about a woman (who isn't even real!) who tries to actually erase her memories of her boyfriend because she's totally a bitch... and apparently, some movie I've never seen (http://www.songfacts.com/detail.php?id=14159). But, more to the point, the people at my school wanted my to forget all those clubs and sports if they chose this song. Their loss, I guess.
Later.
-Wilson A.