Episode 3 - "Radio Up" by Letter Kills

In my experience, the 2004 video game "Burnout 3" had the best video game soundtrack ever--but I suck at video games, and as such have seen a smaller number of them than most people. In the spring of 7th grade, I had a bit of a mental breakdown--the fine details aren't important, but suffice it to say that it was caused by something embarrassing and still resonates to this day (I told you I had issues)--and my way of getting my mind off of it was to just pop this game in and crash people. And then I started hearing the background music. I had never really previously been into music, and this not only opened me up, but it helped me chill out from the thoughts I wanted out of my head. It was my medicine. To this day, a song from that soundtrack--Rise Against's "Paper Wings"--remains my favorite, and between that and the incidental fact that it was released in this country on my 10th birthday (don't tell Blogger I lied about my age, too), I feel a weird, special connection with the game, which is almost as weird as the thoughts that drove me to play it obsessively in the first place. The soundtrack has something like 52 songs on it, and most of them, while obscure, were pretty awesome--again, just my opinion.

This one song today was the black sheep. It would come on and I would have to put extra concentration into driving to avoid totalling, because ever since I had made the mistake of listening to the words, this one bugged me.

Letter Kills didn't last long as a thing. From what I can gather--a fancy-ass way of saying I looked at Wikipedia--, they're a bunch of Christian dudes forming a screamo act, but apparently they aren't so much a "Christian screamo band" as they are a "screamo band that happens to be made of Christians." Now, there was hope in this. There have been bands (and other acts in different genres I'm sure, but I have no real knowledge of them) that are composed of devout Jesus freaks who can and did market their music to non-Christian and secular audiences inoffensively (like Switchfoot, Thrice, MxPx, Underoath (I think)) and others that are remarkably preachy (P.O.D. and Skillet). And, to clarify, I'm not ripping on Christians and their music, but I'm stating that when Christian acts shop their stuff as regular music, they have to play by the rules and make a point to have ambiguous messages and not preach... at least most of the time, so an occasional obvious praise-the-LORD song can be accepted (Switchfoot's breakthrough "Meant to Live," cough cough).

Damn, that's a big tangent! But, long story short(ish), I tried, I really did, to forget about Letter Kills's deep relationship with Buddy Christ while trying to interpret the lyrics. It didn't work.
Oh, and whoever uploaded the lyrics to the site I use wasn't keen on... being proper... you'll see what I mean.

Enough beating around the bush. Let's get this over with.

turn the radio up and we'll sing
a song to bring you back...yeah

Um... the thing about the verb "sing" is that it only applies to one or two nouns, and anyone who sings a conversation usually isn't talking much in the first place. Singing songs is your only feasable option. This may sound like a major nit-pick, but trust me, it'll make sense later.

turn the radio up and we'll sing
A SOOOONGG!

NOT MY EMPHASIS! A fan, consciously or not, acknowledged the over-the-top emphasis on these two words. And while I know screamo bands, well, scream, "a song" is the only pair of words they ever straight-up yell in this song.

turn the radio up and we'll sing
a song to bring you back...yeah
turn the radio up and we'll sing
a song...A SOOOOOONG

Oh, really? I thought you would sing an interpretive dance... AN INTERPRETIVE DAAAAAANCE!

you could never be

Be what?
just making sure that you can see

What? See what?

something's right

CLARIFY, DAMN YOU!
something's better off
without you

Oh... I see how it is. You aren't telling 'cos you hate me... for... some... reason... What did I do to you? See, jury? I have vindication that this band started the hostility, and my ripping it a new one is purely self-defense! HA!

check the volume of your heartbeat
make sure it's loud as your last

Uhm, yyyy--yeah, it is. Your point, gentlemen?
couldn't you just hold our setbacks

...I don' get it.
you're you're....

...an asshole? I know that's what you're thinking of me, jerk, so just spit it out.

never could believe

...oh...
just making sure that you can see

I told you it was hard to forget they're super-Christians! This is really, really starting to sound like they're... they're... dear God, they're berating non-believers! HOSTILITY, JUDGE, HOSTILITY!

something's right
something's better off
without you

Assholes.

something's right
something's better off
without you

Wait, I just realized something. Weren't they just trying to bring us back... um... through the power of song? Now they want us gone? Jesus Christ. I hate songs that change perspectives so radically.

we could be better now
we could be better now
we could be better
now you could believe

So they want to either "bring us back" spiritually...
we could be better
now you're gone

...or they just want us to fuck off. I will concede that these people are not picky, and that is admirable. Marginally, but still, I'll let them have it. Contrary to what they say, I am not evil.
we could be better
now you could believe
we could be better
now you're gone
we could be better
now you could believe
we could be better
now you could

something's right
something's better off
without you

something's right
something's better off
without you

They're also quite consistent.

turn the radio up and we'll sing
a song to bring you back...yeah

MAKE UP YOU'RE FUCKING MIND!

turn the radio up and we'll sing
a song...a song

turn the radio up and we'll sing
a song to bring to you back...yeah

turn the radio up and we'll sing
a song...a song

turn the radio up and we'll sing
a song to bring you back....yeah

turn the radio up and we'll sing
A SONG!

Oh, boy, yay.

 

~Letter Kills

~"Radio Up"

~The Bridge

~2004, Island

~http://www.songmeanings.net/songs/view/3530822107858491107/

~http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXnxfix54u0

 

Sorry you all had to sit through that.

 

So... atheists? That's... that's the best I can come up with. It's a song telling atheists to GTFO. I guess. I'm not them and I'm not going to tell them what they were thinking; that would make me an asshole. So I will never take a definitive stance on what this is about, but I will maintain that it comes across as preachy. The fact that I saw a linked music video for a song of theirs called "Don't Believe" (as in "you ~, you asshole," I'm sure) as I was retrieving the YouTube link just reinforced this. I don't hate Christians or atheists; I have friends in both groups (and am myself often confused for being in either one), and I would not care to offend them. All I ask is both groups don't act so extreme, and that they, if not accept, tolerate one another. And if my gatherings from this are correct--and don't quote me as saying I am sure they are--then this is crossing the line.

 

Now, let's say that I'm misinterpreting this, and that the band whose name comes from an obscure Bible quote doesn't start a religious argument in every song they've ever put out. What's wrong with this song now? It's just tweaking lyrically. In the entirety of the words, they're either telling us that they're bringing us back (through the magic of song, no less!) or telling us to collectively crawl in a hole and die... and there aren't that many words.

 

Alright guys, I'm burned out.

 

Later.

-Wilson A.

Episode 2 - "Love and Memories" by O.A.R.

The first time I heard this song, I didn't know the title or artist; I just knew it was a horrible choice for its context. You see, it was the music that was set to a propaganda slideshow of random extracurricular activities shown to incoming freshman on the first day of high school, trying to tell us to get involved. Perhaps this is the reason I never did, because the song choice was so terrible. The song itself wasn't necessarily offensive, but... it reminds me of when I heard the organ player at U.S. Cellular Field playing that All-American Rejects song "Gives You Hell," because in both instances, it was just a matter of the song sounding nice and having nothing to do with the thing it was applied to. But this with "Love and Memories" was worse because the lyrics were still intact, and not only did they not fit, but they were straight-up counterproductive. How much so? Well, let's see if we can discern the intended meaning from the lyrics. When that inevitably fails (rereading the lyrics as I do this, I may be stumbling for words, but we'll all be lost together), we'll Google it and you'll see.

And heeeeeeere we go.

Lovely, you're always lovely
Aw, fuck, did I pick another obsession song?
A vision, you were the one
Oh, and I guess she's imaginary?
Now I am stuck inside a memory
You forgot about our destiny
Uh, buddy, clearly you two didn't have much of a destiny if you're not together anymore. And it's to my understanding that destiny (playing along and pretending it's not complete bullshit) is something revealed to you as it happens and not something you're taught before hand. It's hard to forget what hasn't happened yet, and may not happen ever. Just like how I can't forget where the Olympics were held in 2056 or who was elected president in 2084. Cos it hasn't fuckin' happened.
You buried me, didn't you?
Note to self: narrator is communicating from the grave.

Didn't you love me faster than the devil
I didn't know you could quantify love in terms of speed. Yeah, I know that joke sucked, but seriously, this line is so fucking weird and stupid that it's syphoning the creativity out of my skull. WHAT THE FUCK DOES THIS EVEN MEAN? Like the line about taking toilet water from the ladies' room in the last episode, this was the hot-button line that drove me to put it on here early in my little series here. "Love me faster"? Do you think love is proportional to how quick your quickies are? AND WHY THE FUCKING DEVIL? That has to be a shitty metaphor for another guy that wanted to fuck her, that is the only option that even remotely makes sense. And "faster" would be a stretched synonym for "more," and whoever wrote this needed an extra syllable to keep the melody. Let's move on before I lose my mind.
Run me straight into the ground
Um, actual question, is this a continuation of the "Didn't you ~?" question from the last line, or are you making a request? Considering this dude might just be a sort of emotional masochist who only likes quick, meaningless sex, I'll go with the latter.
Drownin' deep inside your water
Awesome, you just went from question to command to observation. I'm fucking lost as to what you're trying to tell this chick. Further evidence that this dude might me a masochist: this line may mean that the chick starts pissing while he's eating her pussy out, so that he actually is briefly drowning.
Drownin' deep inside your sound
I can't find a cleverly dirty way to misinterpret this, so I'll move on.

You're always floating
Now she's a fucking ghost!?
A vapor that I couldn't see
...yup, called it.
Here I am stuck inside a yesterdayThere's only one yesterday, bro. I know you don't want to use "memory" again, but it's really you're only option. It's in the title, dude, the world will forgive you. Jesus.
Everything has given way
...and it was all for a fucking rhyme...
You fell from me, didn't you?
Wul, if she did, she's not around to answer the damn question, now is she? This is like asking everyone who's absent to raise their hand.

Didn't you love me faster than the devil
Shut up.
Run me straight into the ground
Shut up.
Drownin' deep inside your water
Shut up.
Drownin' deep inside your sound
Shut up.

Love me faster than the devil
And so it dawns upon me that maybe the second "didn't you" was supposed to follow the second one, but the singer's placement makes it sound like it's connected to that [STUPID FUCKING] "love me faster" sentence/paragraph. Well, I don't forgive. I plan on analyzing another song down the line with similar vocal placement issues, and you'll see then how horrible (and avoidable) this can be.
Run me straight into the ground
Drownin' deep inside your water
Drown in love and memories
Is... is that a threat? You're telling her to go drown?
Also note the medium he wants her to drown in. Is this what it's like to be a masochist? You not only find painful things pleasureful, but pleasureful things painful? I dunno. I don't care.

Maybe I am a crowded mind
So, you're the ghost? I was right, he's communicating from the dead, hence him being a disembodied conscious. I'm totally kicking ass at figuring this out.
I watch your eyes glaze over
Stare down at the floor
Stalker!
You were amazing to me
I was amazing to you
Don't you hate it when people tell you what you think, as though they know your own thoughts better than you? Maybe if she was amazed with you, she wouldn't have bailed... on your... ghost...
But here we go again
Oh, Goddammit!
So yeah, it's just this bullshit below all over again.

Didn't you love me faster than the devil
Run me straight into the ground
Drownin' deep inside your water
Drownin' deep inside your sound

...and again.

Love me faster than the devil
Run me straight into the ground
Drownin' deep inside your water
Drownin' deep inside your sound

Once more for good measure!

Love me faster than the devil
Run me straight into the ground
Drownin' deep inside your water
Drown in love and memories

~O.A.R.
~"Love and Memories"
~Stories of a Stranger
~2005, Lava/Everfine
~http://www.songmeanings.net/songs/view/3530822107858559138/
~http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpea4Nlzs1U
So, against what one would think with lyrics such as these, this song isn't about a lovesick poltergeist who died in a tragic S&M accident, and who holds it against his former whipper girlfriend that she ever moved on... ever. It's about a woman (who isn't even real!) who tries to actually erase her memories of her boyfriend because she's totally a bitch... and apparently, some movie I've never seen (http://www.songfacts.com/detail.php?id=14159). But, more to the point, the people at my school wanted my to forget all those clubs and sports if they chose this song. Their loss, I guess.
Later.
-Wilson A.

Episode 1 - "Lakini's Juice" by Live

(Please just read my Notes entry, it'll be so much easier for all of us)

Anyway, this wasn't the song I wanted to start my... "series" with, but I heard it the other day, and one line alone was just so amazingly off-the-wall that it demanded attention and the pilot episode of my... whatever the hell this is.

So... lyrics are in italics, my little interruptions are in regular upright type. The more you know.

Wul, here I go. Maiden voyage. First step is always the hardest. I could get bored of doing this next week, or I could make a career out of it. It could all hinge on this. Motherfuck, dude, I need to stop stressing.

It was an evening I shared with the sun
Okay, so far, so good; the singer is a nature freak, but that's not offensive or disturbing.
To find out where we belong
...make that a religious nature freak. 'Kay, I don't judge, I just hope he doesn't take a dive for the insane.
From the earliest days
We were dancing in the shadows
...um... is... is this a cult or something? Y'know, I heard that the song title (as well as the name of the album it's on) are references to Hinduism, and I thought maybe the lyrical content was a reference, too, but so far it looks like and offshoot of druidism. I've noticed that a lot of American musicians who have never met Hindu people treat their religion as a nifty little thing with neat little details, like it's some sort of mythology that they would like to tinker around with and incorporate in their work one day for novelty purposes. Now, I live in an incredibly diverse area and know a lot of Hindu people, so I have added incentive to not offend them beyond, y'know, human decency. To whichever idiot in Live wrote this (probably that bald dude, their frontman and possible egotist Ed Kowalczyk): if you wrote this about a semi-obscure Eastern religion, you are a douche bag for making it look like a fuckin' cult.

More wine
Because I got to have it
See? Now he's an alcoholic douche bag.
More skin
Because I got to eat it
Oh, shit. What the fuck have I gotten myself into? Now he's a fuckin' cannibal?

Inside the outside
Okay, Ed, now you're just making shit up.
By the river
Used to be so calm
Used to be so sane
Just like me! Oh, wait---that uber-retarded line is coming up!
I rushed the ladies' room
Took the water from the toilet
I literally burst out laughing when I first heard this. Why the fuck would anyone ever do that!? How damn important was it that you were running? Why the ladies' room? Why the fucking toilet, are you morally opposed to the sink? The hilarity melted to anger as the questions I could (and did) ask piled on, and I realized this was probably illegal in several states, stealing toilet-bowl water from the opposite gender's washroom. "Luckily" (that's a relative term here), Eddie had the balls to tell us what he wanted to do with his magic shit-water.
Washed her feet and blessed her name
You fucking idiot, you risked a voyeurism charge and bacterial contamination for that? Of all the sources of water--in the world--you chose a stall in the women's lavatory? That's the last place in the world for you to be when you have a rod, bro. And what, again, was the fucking rush? Did she just get shot and this was some equivalent to her last rites?

More peace
Is such a dirty habit
She's at peace, and there's blood everywhere. Yup, bitch got shot.

Slow down, we're too afraid
"Drive the ambulance slower, man, we're afraid that if she lives, it'll mean I meant into a lady's room for no reason."

Let me ride
No.
Let me ride
Naw, man, I don't trust you anymore.
Burn my eyes
That I will do, however.
Let me ride
Shut the fuck up, Kowalczyk, your lyrics are downright offensive.

~Live
~"Lakini's Juice"
~Sectret Samadhi
~1997, Radioactive Records
~http://www.songmeanings.net/songs/view/40933/
~http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnFKaU8H4v8

So, I'd've thought that this song was about a guy killing his girlfriend as part of a cultic sacrifice. It was, apparently, about obsessive love.

Meh. Close enough.

Sorry if you like this song, but I freaking hate it, and I'm glad I got it out of my system.

-Wilson A.

A Series Note Before I Start

Notes and shit:

-Saying the lyrics suck does not mean that the artist sucks or that the song itself even sucks. I'm just saying that they're nonsensical when logic and thought is applied. That's why modern society doesn't usually apply thought anymore ever. God bless America. Yay.

-If I actually vehemently hate a song, I'll straight-up tell you. Keep in mind, most of the songs you'll see here are here because I know they exist, and I know they exist because I like them.

-I am a lazy-ass, so the lyrics will be copied and pasted in from a site that I feel is reliable; furthermore, it could be pre-formatted so a chorus is stuck in its first location and not repeated in its subsequent occurrences. If I feel the need to stick the lines in there again, I will. But not in my first couple, because I'm running on something like 2 hours of sleep in the last 36 hours and just can't be bothered. The first couple are gonna suck, and I already know it. Thank Christ nobody is gonna see these for a long time. Halle-Goddamn-lujah.

-I know damn well that criticism is necessary and stuff, but I have a horrible tolerance for it. I have issues, and I need to get over them. I acknowledge and admit that. I apologize in advance for being a horrible person. If you criticize me, I'm not gonna turn into some rage-quitting asshole who fires back, but I'm just going to quietly stare at the ceiling and hate myself. So constructive criticism is welcome, but for the love of God, let's all be nice about it, not because I asked you to but because we're all human beings and there are certain things we should just expect of one another. I want to please and like every one of you, so let's all try not to piss one another off, for my sanity and yours.

-Wilson A.